What to Do Instead of Texting Your Ex: 13 Things That Won’t Ruin Your Progress

You’re freshly out of a situationship that looked more like a romantic PowerPoint presentation—full of potential, but not enough execution. And now, here you are. It’s 11:23 PM. Your mascara is still perfect. Your group chat is asleep. And your thumbs are hovering dangerously over his name. Let me stop you right there: You don’t need closure. You need a distraction.

So, if you're wondering what to do instead of texting your ex, I’ve got 13 self-respecting, soul-repairing, hot-girl-approved alternatives that’ll keep you from spiraling into the “hey… just thinking about you” abyss. (We’re not doing that in 2025, babe.)

Sometimes the words need out. Go ahead. Write the whole “I miss you” saga. The “you didn’t even TRY” monologue. The “do you ever think of me?” plea.

Then? Delete. Unsent. Be free. Trust me—processing isn't the same as sending. And the only thing you should be sending right now is a Venmo request for emotional damages.

Turn your phone into a burn book. Write down every red flag, every bare minimum moment he served up like it was a 5-star effort. Bonus points for adding your own rating system.

• Forgot your birthday? 0 stars.

• Replied “k” during arguments? -10 stars.

• Made you feel like you were asking for too much just by wanting loyalty? 🔥Trash.

Because romanticizing him is the enemy. And clarity is your superpower.

Seriously. Go through your old selfies, IG posts, or journal entries from when you felt like you. Remember her? She was fire. She was evolving. She didn’t need a situationship to feel validated.

📌 Pin her energy to your mood board. 📵 Block his so it stops showing up on yours.

She knows what’s up. She has screenshots. She remembers the 3 AM “he left me on read” meltdown and the "I swear I’m done this time" speech (round 4).

Let her snatch your phone like it’s the final rose on The Bachelor.

• Shave your legs and get into fresh sheets

• Dance to Beyoncé like he never deserved her lyrics

• Bake cookies you won’t share

• Try that “new me” hairstyle you’ve saved 17 times on Pinterest

Because healing is a frequency. And texting your ex is a signal drop.

• Carrie leaving Big in Paris? Yes.

• Adele's One Night Only performance? Absolutely.

• Viola Davis saying “Why didn’t he choose me?” in full Oscar-mode? Sob, release, repeat.

Art heals. And sometimes, it slaps harder than therapy.

Write:

“Hey, just checking in. You’re a whole dream, don’t forget that.” “You dodged a walking red flag. Congrats.” “He could never handle this level of glow.”

And guess what? That’s a healthy conversation.

Not for him. Not for them. For you. Because remembering your power in a fire outfit > waiting for a gray bubble response.

Also… if he does view it? Good. Let him choke on your soft-launch glow-up.

Your phone should have a warning label before you text him. So make one in audio form.

Add tracks like:

• “I Forgot That You Existed” – Taylor Swift

• “Irreplaceable” – Beyoncé

• “Kill Bill” – SZA (because same, but legally no)

• “thank u, next” – Ariana Grande

Then listen until you’re over the temptation… or at least until it fades like his effort did.

Journal prompt:

“What part of me is craving his energy, and how can I meet that need without settling?”

Ouch. I know. But you’re not healing to get him back—you’re healing so you never want him again.

Instead of texting him, list 10 things you’ll do this month that bring you closer to the version of you he wasn’t even capable of loving right.

Then go do them. Every single one.

You don’t owe him a text. You owe yourself a transformation.

No contact isn’t punishment. It’s protection.

That phone number? Gone.

That thread? Archived like a dusty relic in the breakup museum. And before you say, “But I want to keep it just in case…”—just in case what? He becomes emotionally available overnight?

Girl, be serious.

It’s not cold to remind yourself of that. It’s clarity. It’s a love letter to your standards. It’s the difference between spiraling and ascending.

You don’t need his energy in your inbox. You need it out of your aura.

So the next time you want to send a “just checking in” text? Check in with your standards instead. You’re not reaching backward: you’re rising. Higher. Louder. Hotter.

And babe? When you finally stop chasing closure, the peace hits different. 🥂

Because you know what’s sexier than a “wyd” at midnight? Silence. Wrapped in self-respect. Wearing red lipstick. You’ve got better things to text—like your bank account login or your future self.