How to Stop Stalking His Socials Without Going Cold Turkey

That little hit you get when you type his name into the search bar and see he’s still single? That’s not love. That’s your brain getting high on old habits. Social media gives you a false sense of connection, like he’s still kind of in your life. But what you’re really doing is giving him free rent in your mind, and honey, he doesn’t even deserve the sidewalk.

Write it out. Be honest with yourself. What are you hoping to find when you check his page? Are you looking for signs he misses you? Hoping he looks miserable? Waiting for a post that confirms you were the best he ever had?

Spoiler alert: Even if he’s hurting, he’s probably not going to post it. Socials are smoke and mirrors.  People don’t tend to post their worst day or their pain. They will only allow the world to see the fun and exciting part. Yes even when they are going through it! Let’s stop falling for the illusion.

If your thumbs know how to type his name faster than your bestie’s, it’s time to give those fingers a new mission.

Every time you feel the urge to stalk, do something else that gives you a real result. Here are some soul meets sass alternatives:

• Open your notes app and write a love letter to your future self. Remind her that she never begs for breadcrumbs again.

• Make a mini glow-up to-do. Hair mask. Water. Affirmations. Boom. Self-care babe!

• Watch a video that makes you laugh out loud. Yes, even the petty ones about men losing a good thing.

• Message a friend. Tell them you’re trying not to snoop and need a distraction. Real queens phone a friend instead of spiraling.

• Write in your Journal. By the way our journal “Over his Shit” has a step by step from heartbreak to glow up if you need some guidance. It might not be for you because it’s about to call you out on your BS too… But if you want a journal that feels like talking to your honest best friend.. Check it out here!

The goal is to break the loop by redirecting the energy into something that actually fills you up.

Let’s Marie Kondo that feed. You don’t have to block him right away if you’re not ready, but you can mute, unfollow, or soft block people who might be posting about him.

Remove his best friend. Remove his cousin. Remove that girl you never trusted who always liked his photos. Out of sight, out of your emotional mess.

If you’re scared he’ll notice, ask yourself why that still matters. His opinion of you is no longer your responsibility. Your healing is.

Yes, this sounds silly. No, it is not a joke.

If you’re not ready to stop completely, give yourself a window. For example, you can only check once a day at 3 p.m., but not before bed when your guard is down.

The trick is you’ll get bored of it. Once stalking becomes a chore, it loses its thrill. And when your soul starts craving better, your habits will follow.

Use a tracker. Yes, like the one in your “Over his Shit” journal. Mark every day you go without checking, even if it’s just one platform. Celebrate those wins like you just hit a new PR at the gym. Because emotionally, you did.

You are not just trying to get over a man. You are rebuilding the version of yourself that never needed his validation in the first place.

When you find yourself typing his name into the search bar, stop. Close your eyes. Ask yourself, what does this action do for my healing?

Then take that same energy and pour it into something that builds you.

Here’s what that could look like:

• Post a fire selfie. Don’t check if he views it. You don’t need his eyes to know you’re the prize.

• Work on your goals. Apply for that job. Launch that idea. Take the class.

• Write a new chapter in your journal. One where the plot twist is you loving the hell out of your life.
  

So You don’t have to delete every app and pretend you’re over it when you’re not. Healing is not an on or off switch. It’s a slow unfollow, a muted story, a skipped scroll that turns into strength. It takes time… and that’s okay!

Did you know that heartbreak can actually change the shape of your heart and mimic the symptoms of a heart attack.  You are in pain, and likely need some time to recover.

This is not about being unbothered for show. It’s about protecting your energy for real. Every day you don’t stalk is a day you choose yourself. That’s powerful.

So next time the temptation hits, take a breath. Choose you. And remember, the best revenge is not checking his page. It’s building a life he can’t access, can’t reach, and most definitely can’t handle. You’ve got this.